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Indian students look at China: there are no animals on the s

Author: Time:2018-01-23 11:50 Source:未知
In this paper:此文为印度尤迪-古普塔的第二篇日记,讲述他第一次踏入中国大连时的各种臆想、恐慌和感触。印度是一个男女关系相对封闭的社会,而中国却比较开放,处于青春期的尤迪自然对中国...

This article is the second diary of yudi gupta, India, about the various visions, fears and feelings of his first visit to dalian, China. India is a relatively closed society, while China is more open, and the adolescent yudi naturally has an infinite imagination for Chinese girls. In addition, he found that there were no animals on the dalian road, or even pedestrians, only cars, which caused him to panic when he was used to noisy scenes in new Delhi.
 
Poor English, they didn't teach the indians the real meaning of the yellow light. For the rest of the world, the yellow light means a deceleration, and for indians, the yellow light means speeding up, which could kill pedestrians at any time. Poor English, they didn't teach the indians the real meaning of the yellow light. For the rest of the world, the yellow light means a deceleration, and for indians, the yellow light means speeding up, which could kill pedestrians at any time.
 
"Finally I realized my dream"
 
Me: "my dream has come true". Finally the plane landed. I am very excited to leave India and enter the land of China. The airport is so beautiful, it's made in China. How did the Chinese teacher in the school teach us? By the way, "I finally realized my dream."
 
The brain (note: here's the Mind of the brain, the thinking of the Indian people, I (Self) is composed of three parts, including the heart (Soul), brain (Mind) and feel (since), the brain is the heart and feel the mediation, influenced by feeling and Soul, this article is the author in the dialogue with their brains most of the time) :
 
Yes, people eat a kind of uber-green egg on the plane, which doesn't look particularly elegant. And that strange smell is still wrapped around my clothes. Thankfully, the plane finally landed, and -- "you fulfilled your dream." Let's go and have a look.
 
On the plane
 
: I have a look at the TV screen, and the other girls told me it is Delhi university, those crazy Chinese girl walked on stage to a foreigner, in order to get a chance to date with him. Yes, the host was the same person, and the blunt bald man was old, wasn't he? (the host of the TV festival "if you are the one")
 
Brain: what do foreign men have? Look at these Chinese girls. They're both decent and generous. I'm thinking.
 
Me: what do you think, should I go to this TV show? Most Chinese men are relatively small. Maybe I am the tallest person in dalian. I think I should have a better chance. I just need to buy an iPhone first and hear that it's China's national machine.
 
Brain: well, maybe you can go to the bar. In new Delhi, your parents never allow you to go to any bar. It's not the same here. The Chinese girls will see you walk into the bar. They will jump with JustinBieber's baby, even though they don't know what it is.
 
You can attract them with your big eyes, long lashes, natural curls, and tall figures, and they will begin to embrace you and arm you with your strong arms. They will take out the "China machine" (iPhone) with a credit card and take a photo with you and show a "V" sign that god doesn't know. They will drink a lot of vodka, which is enough to spend your money, but half of them will end up spitting on the stage. Of course, one of them will invite you to her home.
 
Me: wow!!! I can't imagine that the last word will actually happen in real life. And then what? Go on, go on.
 
Brain: you will enter her home and ask where the bathroom is. You sit on the toilet, but don't lock the bathroom. She was so drunk that she voluntarily entered the bathroom. She has stripped off and put on a lingerie that is much more expensive than your shirt, jeans and belt. Her underwear was perfect for her small, slim figure, and the orange light set off her underwear like a fluttering flower, and the white cheeks were more ethereal.
 
You're sitting on the toilet, and she comes in and sits on your lap. She looked at your long crooked eyelids and touched the top of the top with her right hand, then blew a breath out of her mouth. Your hands are holding her slim, white waist, and then she begins to unbutton your buttons and is attracted by your chest hair, which looks like a lion's hair, and then...
 
Me: and then what? Don't stop, you moron.
 
Brain: you need an empty bottle with him next.
 
Me: why?
 
Brain: you say you want an empty bottle, that's all.
 
Me: and then?
 
Brain: she'll ask why you're doing this, and her hands are untying your shirt.
 
Me: and then?
 
Brain: you say you want to wash your ass. Then she said you two can take a shower for a while. Why now?
 
Me: and what should I say?
 
Brain: once again you say you want to clean your butt. Then she handed you a roll of toilet paper. You throw the toilet paper aside and ask her for an empty bottle again.
 
I: hurry up, I need to take her to bed.
 
The brain: you tell him you need to fill the bottle with water, then pour it on your ass and wash your butt with your left hand.
 
Because south asians have different habits, they wash their bottoms with water. Here the author writes this, just want to show the difference between Chinese and Indian culture, actually the life style is different, just the culture and the habit are different, there is no high and low. Just imagine, before the Chinese invented papermaking, what kind of toilet did humans use? And in South Asia, water can be washed more cleanly, and paper is not very sanitary. In addition, the climate in South Asia is so dry and habitual that it will soon be eliminated after using water as a toilet.
 
This is like South Asia, parts of southeast Asia and Africa where people eat with their hands, which is a different way of life. It is said that europeans used their hands to eat before the knife and fork became widespread. Therefore, the people who eat with chopsticks are actually a minority. In the eyes of those who do not use chopsticks, east asians are surprised to eat.
 
Brain: too late, stupid. (slap me in the face)
 
Brain: go get your baggage, stupid.
 
First impressions about China.
 
When I came out of dalian airport, I saw mountains and trees in front of me. It's amazing how all the trees look the same, the same height, the same color, even the same branches, aren't they fake? The weather is very comfortable. I think it's about 30 degrees centigrade. There were two girls from dalian who came to meet me at the airport, but I was sweating all over. I was really puzzled to know how comfortable the weather was in new Delhi. We got into an old Volkswagen and headed for the target.
 
Me: wow! There was no cow on the road. It's been half an hour since we got out of the airport, and there's not even a dog, a monkey, a goat, or a sheep. I suddenly felt very homesick for my hometown.
 
Brain: indeed, not even an elephant. Imagine how the locals would react to such a spectacle.
 
Me: yes, even I was a little surprised. Center street in new Delhi, at any time are likely to see an elephant swagger ground to walk in the middle of the road with other vehicles and passers-by Shared a way, everyone like defying the elephant.
 
The brain: as your mother said, they might take all the animals and eat them. Also, you see, even a car on the road tricycles (note: Rickshaw, India a manned manpower tricycle), tuk-tuks (note: Auto, one of India's manned three-wheeled motorcycle), or motorcycles, all have no, the traffic so far looks very good. I wonder if the people here are the same. When there is not enough space, what about the buses and trains? But I couldn't see the bus or the train.
 
The brain: look at the buildings here, all 30-40 stories tall, all glass (1070, -2.00, -0.19%). There are audi, BMW, Mercedes and land rover everywhere. They even have wal-mart and carrefour. Suddenly India feels like Africa, not Asia.
 
Me: you told me they wouldn't even run a red light? Really wow! Look at the people here, they see the yellow lights start to slow down.
 
The brain: poor English, they didn't teach the indians the real meaning of the yellow light. For the rest of the world, the yellow light means a deceleration, and for indians, the yellow light means speeding up, which could kill pedestrians at any time.
 
Me: look at that building. It looks like a shopping center. Oh, there are KFC and McDonald's, and pizza hut. Oh, my god, there's another Subway restaurant.
 
Brain: there is not much to worry about right now? At least you won't die of hunger. I guess at least these foods have similar standards around the world?
 
Me: yes, at least that French fries are made of potato, can't be Chinese? But one thing seems strange. All the buildings here look alike. Isn't that a little boring? It's all light grey and red, and it looks like the whole area is made up of the same color.
 
Brain: this is communism, my friend, communism. According to wikipedia, dalian was once controlled by the soviets, probably for this reason. When she invaded her, she became a little modern. After the war, the Chinese regained control of dalian, so dalian left a strong taste of communism. The soviets had vodka, and people here had something called baijiu. It is strange that they should drink this wine while eating, and then get drunk and be carried away after dinner.
 
Me: well, this place we're passing looks terrible. It's all gray buildings. At two o 'clock in the afternoon, there was nobody on the road. In new Delhi, you can even see the coach at this point in time. So the shop front is hung with plastic (9265, -10.00, -0.11%), and there is no English sign in any place. Look at those pesky communists, what are they doing to this place? Thankfully, this is not the case in India. I hope the whole of China is not like this, it has no color, I hope...
此文为印度尤迪-古普塔的第二篇日记,讲述他第一次踏入中国大连时的各种臆想、恐慌和感触。印度是一个男女关系相对封闭的社会,而中国却比较开放,处于青春期的尤迪自然对中国女孩产生了无限的幻想。另外,他发现在大连路上什么动物都没有,甚至没有行人,只有汽车,这让习惯于新德里吵杂场景的他感到恐慌。
可怜的英国人,他们没有教给印度人黄灯的真正意义。对于世界其他地方,黄灯意味着减速,对于印度人,黄灯却意味着加快速度前进,这随时可能把行人撞死。  可怜的英国人,他们没有教给印度人黄灯的真正意义。对于世界其他地方,黄灯意味着减速,对于印度人,黄灯却意味着加快速度前进,这随时可能把行人撞死。
  “终于我实现了我的梦想”
  我:“我的梦想实现了”。最后飞机着地了。离开印度,踏进中国的土地,我感到非常兴奋。这机场太漂亮了,难道又是“中国制造”。之前学校的中文老师怎么教我们的呢?对了——“终于我实现了我的梦想”。
  大脑(注:这里把Mind译为大脑,在印度人的思维里,我(Self)是由三部分组成的,包括心灵(Soul)、大脑(Mind)和感觉(Sensation),大脑是心灵和感觉的中介,受到感觉的影响并作用于心灵,本文大部分时间是作者在与自己的大脑对话):
  是的,人们在飞机上吃着一种乌绿色外表的鸡蛋(译者注:卤蛋),看起来不是特别雅观。而那种奇怪的味道还缠绕在我的衣服里。谢天谢地,飞机终于着陆了,并且——“你实现了你的梦想”。走,赶紧出去看看。
  在飞机场里
  我:看看那电视屏幕,那正是德里大学其他女孩子告诉我的,那些疯狂的中国女孩走上台给一个外国人挑选,以此得到一个与他约会的机会。是的,那个主持人正是同一个人,那位说话直率的光头老,不是吗?(译者注:指电视节日《非诚勿扰》的主持人)
  大脑:那些外国男人拥有什么呢?看看这些中国女孩,她们长得既得体又大方,我在想。
  我:你怎么想呢,是不是我也应该去参加这种电视秀?大部分中国男人长得相对矮小,或许我现在是大连里长得最高大的人。我想我应该有比较好的机会。我只需要先去买个iPhone,听说那是中国的国机。
  大脑:嗯,或许你可以去酒吧看看。在新德里,你的父母从来不允许你去任何酒吧。在这里则不一样,那些中国女孩将会看到你走进酒吧。她们将随着贾斯汀-比伯(JustinBieber)的《宝贝》跳起来,尽管她们不知道歌里唱的是什么玩意。
  你可以用你的大眼睛、长睫毛、自然卷的头发和高大的身材吸引她们,她们将开始投入你的怀抱,挽住你强壮的手臂。她们将会取出用信用卡刷来的“中国国机”(iPhone),然后和你合影,并且摆出一个神也不知道什么意思的V字形手势。她们将猛喝伏特加,这足够花光你的钱,但喝掉的一半她们会最后吐在舞台上。当然,最后其中有一位会邀请你到她家做客。
  我:哇!!!我不敢想象最后一句话会真的发生在现实生活中。然后呢?继续,继续。
  大脑:你将进入她的家,然后问洗手间在哪里。你坐在马桶上,但不要锁住洗手间。她已经狂醉了,她自己主动地进入了洗手间。她已经脱光衣服并装上一件比你身上的衬衣、牛仔裤和腰带加上一起还要贵得多的贴身内衣。她的内衣非常适合她矫小而苗条的身材,橙色的灯光把她的内衣映衬得像飘动的花朵,那白色的脸颊看起来更加飘渺。
  你正坐在马桶上面,然后她进来坐在你的大腿上。她看着你那既长又弯曲的双眼皮,用她的右手触摸着上面那一片,然后从口里吹了一口气出来。你的手抱着她苗条、白皙的腰部,然后她开始解开你的扣子,被你的胸毛给吸引住了,看起来就像狮毛一样,然后……
  我:然后怎么样?不要停止,你这个笨蛋。
  大脑:你接下来跟他要个空瓶子。
  我:为什么?
  大脑:你就说你要个空瓶子,就这样。
  我:然后呢?
  大脑:她会问你为什么这个时候要,这时候她的手正在解开你的衬衫。
  我:然后呢?
  大脑:你就说你要洗干净屁股。然后她说你们俩可以一会儿去洗澡,为什么要现在呢?
  我:然后我应该怎么说?
  大脑:你再一次说你要洗干净屁股先。然后她递给你一卷厕纸。你把厕纸扔在一边,然后再一次向她要一个空瓶。
  我:快一点说,我需要把她带到床上。
  大脑:你就告诉他,你需要把瓶子装满水,然后倒在屁股上,并用你的左手去洗干净屁股。
  我:……
  (译者注:由于南亚人生活习惯不同,便后都是用水洗屁股。这里作者把这个写出来,只是想展示中印文化的差异,其实生活方式的不同,只是文化和习惯不同而已,并无高低之分。试想一下,在中国人没有发明造纸术之前,人类又用什么方式如厕呢?而且在南亚人看来,用水可以洗得更加干净,用纸其实倒不是很卫生。加上南亚气候多干燥和习惯,用水如厕后其实很快就会干掉,望读者理性看待这个问题。
  这就像南亚、部分东南亚和非洲地区的人用手吃饭一样,这也是生活习惯不同而已。据说,欧洲人在刀叉没有普及之前也是用手吃饭的。所以算起来,用筷子吃饭的人其实是占少数的,在不使用筷子的地方的人看来,东亚人吃饭也显得奇怪。)
  大脑:太迟了,大笨蛋。(扇了我一把掌)
  我:……
  大脑:赶紧去取你的行李,蠢货。
  关于中国的第一印象
  我从大连机场出来后,前面看到山川和树木。非常惊奇的是,所有树居然看起来都是一样的,一样的高度,一样的颜色,甚至是一样的分枝,难道它们也是假的吗?天气非常地舒服,我想大概是30摄氏度多点吧。有两个大连理工的女孩到机场接我,却全身流大汗,我实在感到不解,要知道,这个天气在新德里是多么舒服。我们坐进一辆老大众汽车,然后直奔目标。
  我:哇!路上居然一头牛都没有。出机场已经半个小时了,路上甚至看不到一只狗,一只猴子,一只山羊,或者一只绵羊。我突然感到非常想念自己的家乡。
  大脑:确实是,甚至连一头大象都没有。想象一下本地人对这样的景象会有什么反应呢?
  我:是的,甚至我感到有点吃惊。在新德里中心大街,随时都有可能看到一头大象大摇大摆地走在路中间,与其他交通工具和路人共享一条路,大家就好像不把大象放在眼里一样。
  大脑:就像你妈所说的,他们可能把所有动物都抓走然后吃掉了。还有,你看,路上连一辆人力三轮车(注:Rickshaw,印度一种载人的人力三轮车)、嘟嘟车(注:Auto,印度一个载人的三轮摩托车)、或摩托车都没有,交通状况到目前看起来都非常好。我想知道这里的人们是不是也一样,当空间不够时,会坐在大巴和火车上面呢?不过,我却看不到大巴和火车。
  大脑:看看这里的建筑,都是30-40层楼高,都是玻璃(1070, -2.00, -0.19%)外墙。到处都是奥迪、宝马[微博]、奔驰和路虎。他们甚至还有沃尔玛和家乐福。突然觉得印度像是属于非洲,而不是亚洲。
  我:你之前告诉我他们甚至不会闯红灯?真的哇!看看这里的人们,他们看到黄灯就开始减速了。
  大脑:可怜的英国人,他们没有教给印度人黄灯的真正意义。对于世界其他地方,黄灯意味着减速,对于印度人,黄灯却意味着加快速度前进,这随时可能把行人撞死。
  我:看看那建筑物,看起来像是个购物中心。哦,那里有肯德基[微博]和麦当劳[微博],还有必胜客[微博]。我的天啊,还有一个Subway餐馆。
  大脑:现在没有多少可以去担心的了吧?至少你不会因为饥饿而死去。我猜,至少这些食物在全世界都有相似的标准吧?
  我:是的,至少那法国炸薯条是用土豆做的吧,不可能中国化吧?不过有一件事情显得很奇怪,这里所有的建筑物看起来都一个样,难道这不显得有些枯燥吗?全都是浅灰色和泛红色的格调,看起来整个地区就由同一种颜色组成的一样。
  大脑:这就是共产主义,我的朋友,共产主义。从维基百科得知,大连曾经受苏联人控制过,可能是因为这个原因。当日本人侵略她时,她变得有点现代化。经过战争后,中国人又重新控制了大连,因此大连又留下很浓的共产主义味道。苏联人有伏特加,而这里的人有一种叫做白酒的东西。他们甚至一边吃饭一边喝这种酒,然后喝得大醉,并在饭后被抬走,真奇怪。
  我:唉,这个我们正在经过的地方看起来很恐怖,都是灰色的建筑物。在下午的2点钟,路上居然一个人都没有。在新德里,这个时间点你甚至还能看到马车呢。所以的店铺面前都挂着塑料(9265, -10.00, -0.11%)的帘子,而没有任何一个地方有英文标示。看看那些令人讨厌的共产主义者,他们到底对这个地方做了什么呢?谢天谢地,还好印度不是这样。我希望整个中国并不是这样的,这样的没有色彩,我希望……


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